


Cedar and Bergamot and Home

by The_Honeyed_Hufflepuff



Series: Tumblr Kissing Prompts [6]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Awkward Boners, Bonfires, I still suck at titles don't @ me, Love Confessions, M/M, Snogging, Walks On The Beach, but actually it's more like semi awkward semis, for like a few sentences, then it's just smooches behind a lifeguard thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 20:22:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20681378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Honeyed_Hufflepuff/pseuds/The_Honeyed_Hufflepuff
Summary: Simon and Baz sneak away from a bonfire on a California beach for some alone time.Inspired by the fact that all I can think lately is what’s going to go down (orwho) in the hotel rooms inWayward Son. Because I’m disturbed, ask anyone.





	Cedar and Bergamot and Home

**Author's Note:**

> Look, Wayward Son comes out in ONE WEEK, I’ve just emerged from a week-long sickness-induced writer’s block, & I really wanted to post at least one more thing before the book release. (And, sadly, I’m pretty sure the next chapter of [Between the Lines](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18685069/chapters/44312203) will not be out before WS. Lookin’ at you, sickness-induced writer’s block.) Anyway, hope y’all enjoy! 
> 
> This is part of my Tumblr kiss prompts series! (Basically I put up [a kissing prompt list](https://thehoneyedhufflepuff.tumblr.com/post/186806348697/50-types-of-kisses-writing-prompts) on [my Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thehoneyedhufflepuff) & I'm cross-posting here.)
> 
> Prompt: Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss

**SIMON**

I don’t mind snogging in front of Penny—I don’t even mind snogging in front of Agatha—but also we can’t really _snog _with our friends around. 

Probably that’s a good thing, because every little chance I get to be alone with Baz feels like we’re on the cusp of something. It scares me, if I’m honest, but it lights something up inside me, too. Something I’ve not really felt since…_before_. 

Before I lost my magic. 

And, well. It’s stronger than that, too. Stronger and bigger than anything I’ve ever felt, and sometimes I feel like it’ll swallow me whole.

Sometimes I want to let it. Sometimes I just want to let go. To give in. 

Like now. 

Seeing the way the fire glows on Baz’s pale skin is…something else. Something else and something _familiar_. It reminds me of another fire, of just the two of us, alone in his bedroom, trying to catch our breath.

I didn’t want to let go of him long enough to catch our breath.

I barely did. 

I think about those nights in Hampshire a lot, about Baz beneath me in front of his fireplace, and the way his breath would hitch when I kissed him on his neck and collar. The way it surprised me, when he did the same to me, because I’d never been kissed there before, and his mouth was cold, and it felt so _good_. 

I want to kiss him _now_. I’m not even sure what’s going on; I can hear Penelope and Agatha talking, but I stopped listening a while ago. 

Baz’s hand is set on the blanket between us, and the fire is so bright, and the sounds of the ocean are soothing. Calm. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good. Alive. 

I set my hand on top of Baz’s and squeeze.

I just want to tell him what I want. Probably that’d be weird in front of the girls. 

“We’re going for a walk,” I say.

Baz raises an eyebrow at me.

“Oh?” Penelope says. The fire’s glinting off her glasses, but I can picture the look she’s giving me anyway.

“We’ll be here, then,” Agatha says, and I think how good it’s been, to see her. I almost laugh when I remember how I used to think Baz wanted her. I’m still glad he didn’t; it’s just, I didn’t realize it was me he wanted instead. (I’d say I should’ve known, that it should’ve been obvious, but also Baz’s methods of flirting aren’t exactly the clearest. Setting a chimera on me. Punching me down the stairs. How was I supposed to realize?) 

We get up. Baz is graceful about it, the wanker. I’m not. One of my legs is asleep, and I nearly topple over. Everyone laughs at me. (Even I laugh at me.)

Then I take Baz’s hand, and we start walking down the beach. I think I startle him when I snake my invisible tail around his waist, but I think he likes it, anyway. (I like watching him jump, in any case.)

“Are we really out for a moonlight stroll along the beach, Snow, or were you planning to ravish me behind a lifeguard stand?”

“Hm. Might do.”

“You’ve not answered my question, you dolt.”

“S’pose not,” I say. (Truth be told, I _am _keeping an eye out for one of those lifeguard things. Not that there’s many people out here right now, but something about sneaking Baz around one of those and pinning him against the planks sends a right thrill down my spine.)

We keep walking, and my heart keeps tripping over itself. I’m just so _happy_. I’d almost forgotten what that feels like.

Then I spot one—one of those lifeguard stand things—and I can feel myself grinning. (I don’t think I’ve stopped grinning since we started walking.) “_C’mere_,” I whisper, and I tug at Baz’s hand (“_Crowley, Snow_”) until we’re properly behind it. Well, not properly, really; there _is _no behind, but it’s between us and Penny and Agatha, anyway, and it _feels _private, somehow. Like we’re shut away in our own little corner of the beach. Just me and Baz, alone under the stars with sand beneath our feet. We’re five thousand miles from home, and yet home’s right _here._

Baz is giving me that look, like he wants to attack me. Or maybe like he wants _me _to attack _him._

“Bloody finally,” I say, and then I crowd into his space and press him back, back, back until his body _thumps _gently against the wood. And then I’m reaching up for his mouth. _Kissing _him. (I’m just now realizing that this is on my list of things I want to do to Baz, having a snog on the beach. Pressing into him until he’s got nowhere else to go. Heating up his body with mine. _Heating up his body…_)

He’s heating up _my _body, there’s no denying it. And I don’t want to. (Deny it, I mean.) I’ve got sparks going off from the inside.

It almost feels like I’ve got magic again. A different sort, I guess, but still _magic._

I wonder if we should sit down, but probably Baz won’t want to get sand in his trousers, the toff. Also I think he _likes _kissing me like this, while he gets to lord his height over me. (I won’t tell him that I like it, too. I can’t give him the satisfaction.)

I’ve got one hand pressing against his waist, and I push the other up into his hair as I open my mouth against his. He opens his mouth, too, and then my tongue’s sliding against his as his hair slides through my fingers. I let it fall, and then I bring my hand around to cradle the back of his head. My fingers push into his hair again, at the nape of his neck this time. I like it, and I think he does, too, because he sighs into my mouth when my nails brush against his scalp.

I just want to be closer. I want _him _closer.

Baz's long hands are resting just above my arse on either side of my tail, but he's pressing into me, pushing me closer, and I…

_I…_

Baz whimpers against my lips, and I pull back with a gasp.

"You okay?" I say. (I don't know why I say it.) I'm out of breath, and I'm still pressed against him, and my tail's wrapped around one of his calves, and...

"What," Baz says, and I feel his fingers loosen in the fabric of my trackies. 

"Dunno." There's heat rising in my cheeks, and it only gets worse when I remember that Baz can see in the dark.

"Right," he says, and his hands start to drop.

"No, don't. I didn't mean. Um. _Fucking hell_."

Baz's hands are still against my hips, and I know he can feel me. It's not like my trackies are leaving much to the imagination. And, well. I can feel him, too, beneath the placket of his jeans, and if I _did_ still have magic I think I'd probably go off right fucking now.

I can feel my heartbeat _everywhere_, loud and fast and hard and _fuck._

I don’t know what to say. 

So I kiss him again instead. 

I kiss him, and kiss him, and _kiss _him, and everything is fire—my mouth and my heart and low in my belly, between my legs. I’m moaning into the wetness of his mouth, and he’s moaning back at me, soft noises vibrating against my tongue. I untangle my fingers from his hair and press my hand into the swell of his arse instead, press him towards _me, _and he practically melts. 

_I want him_, I realize. And I think…I think he wants me, too. 

I’ve no idea how to do this, any of it.

Kissing’s one thing—I’m _good _at that—but what about the _rest_? I’ve never done…anything. But it’s not like Baz has either, and…

I want to do this with him. All of it. The _rest._

Baz’s grip on my hips tightens and he breaks the kiss this time. He huffs a laugh when I try to chase his lips with mine, because I’m not done. I’m not ready to let go.

“We shouldn’t _here, _Snow,” he says. His voice is quiet, and low, and _Merlin._

I think about walking back to the fire and Penny and Agatha looking like _this. _Christ, how embarrassing would _that _be?

“Yeah,” I breathe, swallowing. (My voice is low, too.) “Yeah, alright. You’re right.”

“Hm. Say that again?”

“Wanker,” I sigh, and then I drop my head against his shoulder. “_Fuck_.” 

I let my hands slide down to his hips and I just hold onto him. (I _have _to.) Baz’s arms are looped lazily around my waist, and my tail’s come undone from his leg. We’re silent, for the most part. For a few moments it’s just the ocean and my tail swishing and the sound of our breath softening. And, well. _Other_ bits.

“You know, I didn’t realize you’d take me so seriously, when I asked if you were going to ravish me behind a lifeguard stand.”

“Fuck you.”

“Articulate as always.” 

I wonder what’ll happen, when we get back to our hotel room.

Can’t think about that right now. Not if I want to calm down, at least.

Baz nudges the side of my face with his. “Ready to head back, Snow?”

“Just. Just a few minutes.” I don’t think he’s going to argue with me, for once, especially when I bring one hand up to his belly and start to rub. (I think I hear him swallow.) I think about hitching up his shirt, about stroking the skin underneath. I _can’t, _not now. But later…

Fuck_, _this _feeling. _There’s so much swirling around inside me, and there’s something, _something_, trying to burst out of me. And—

_Oh._

“Baz.” I lift my head from his shoulder, and still my hand against his stomach. It’s dark out, but I can still see the grey of his eyes. His pupils are blown wide, and he’s trying to look sure of himself even as he raises that bloody eyebrow at me.

I’m just staring at him.

“Something to say—?”

“I love you.”

His eyebrow drops, and the first thing I think is that I’ve said the wrong thing. Maybe I’ve read this wrong. And, well. I’ve been a pretty terrible boyfriend lately, all things considered – lying on the couch and staring off into space and not giving Baz much attention. I’m not a mage anymore. He told me he wouldn’t change his mind, all those months ago at his leavers ball, but maybe he will. Maybe he _is_—

“Simon.”

“Yeah.”

“Watching you think is honestly painful.”

“Oh, piss off!” I try to pull away from him, but he just tightens his arms around me and won’t let go. Bloody vampire strength. Or maybe he’s just stronger than me, full stop.

“Say it again,” he says.

“_What_?”

“Say it _again_.”

“I love you?”

“Preferably without the inflection.”

I growl at him. “Look, it’s fine if you don’t. Love me, I mean.” (It scares me, how _not true _that is.) “But you don’t have to be such—”

“I love you, too.”

“—a prat about it.” I look up to see Baz raising his eyebrow at me again, waiting. “What?”

“I love you, too, you absolute nightmare.”

Well. Now _I _feel like a prat. And also sort of like my heart’s about to explode. “Oh.”

Baz rolls his eyes. “Yes, _oh_.”

We’re pressed so close that I can feel his heart pounding in his chest. I set my hand over it and let it beat against my palm, and he lifts one hand and covers mine with his.

And then I’m grinning; I can’t help it. “I love you,” I say again. They’re the only magic words I can say anymore, and I think…

I think that’s _okay._

Baz bends to let his forehead rest against mine. He says, “I love you,” into the small space between us. “I _told _you as much, at my leavers ball—”

“You did not.”

“As good as. But.” He breathes in deep and lets it out. “Well, I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“You wouldn’t’ve.”

He huffs a laugh. “Crowley, Snow…”

I let my hand slip down until I’m holding him around his waist. Then I nestle my face into the space between his neck and shoulder and breathe him in. He smells like the ocean, and the bonfire, and _Baz, _like cedar and bergamot and home.

“Let’s not go back just yet,” I whisper in his ear. 

Baz shivers, even though he’s wearing a jumper and jeans and it’s not cold out, not really. His long fingers are pressing into my hips, and when I pull back to look at him, his eyes are like a storm.

“Not yet,” he agrees. 

And then _he _kisses _me. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all liked this one! It's the first halfway-decent thing I've written in days lmao
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thehoneyedhufflepuff) I'm a disaster over there.


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